What is a Musician? Gene Lees and the Canadian Inferiority Self-Image
April 26 2010

Gene Lees died yesterday, at age 82.

Musicians harbor feelings of insecurity.

Canadian musicians harbor feelings of insecurity, doubled dipped in inferiority.

The Pianobbaler grew up knowing of Gene Lees. Journalist, writer, lyricist, and occasional singer, he stood out in the 1960's and 70's. He achieved much, especially in the jazz world. He enjoyed an international reputation. Yet he came from Canada.

The country having just reached its 100th birthday in 1967, we marveled back then at a Canadian achieving outside world recognition. Hey look! They let little Pee Wee into the club house. Little Pee Wee!

We were all Little Pee Wee.

Sure, a few Canadians had achieved world orbit. Marie Dressler. Lester Pearson. Oscar Peterson in jazz. Others too.

By and large, though, we Canadians sat in the back seat. The Big Guys drove.

For musicians coming up at the time, our little-guy status added weight to the kit.

Who becomes a musician? Not just someone who loves music. Not just someone with talent. Not just someone itching to perform. Someone with all of those traits, plus... the humility to do the endless work of mastering an instrument, but also the self-importance to take the instrument to the stage and the audience.

At the musician's core, however, lies a bedrock insecurity. Not necessarily an insecurity of the self, but of the art and the artist. You may well believe in yourself, while feeling unsure of your musical abilities.

Does this sound good? Is it interesting? Am I good enough? Could I be better? Am I the weak musical link? Are they applauding to be polite? If they're quiet, does it mean they're bored?

We musicians ask ourselves these questions and others all the time. Such inquiry sits at the core of musicianship. How could it not? Music offers infinite possibilities. Why choose one note over another? Why one rhythm? One melody? One chord? Choice is the essence of art. And before choice, there lies the inquiry.

Music demands inquiry. Inquiry demands exploration. The musician who does not ask questions is not exploring. Not to explore is to follow paths already tread. But musicians want to create. And to create means to follow the untread path. To forge your own.

Exploration leads to discovery. This is the musician's joy: discovering the music within, sharing the discovery with others.

But exploration, by its nature, can lead nowhere. Discovery can uncover duds.

And so the musician must sit in the opposing tensions between fruitless exploration and successful discovery. Between good choices and dumb ones. Bold reach and timid safety. Knowing it's good, and fearing it's dull. My music rules, and their music is better. Good choice and bad.

What of the Canadian musician, then? To the psycho-travails of musicianship, add internalized self-images of bumpkinhood.

Result: a deprecating groupthink that, until not long ago, valued others over ourselves. American players were always better than us, even if they weren't. You couldn't be a great musician, even if you were, unless the outside world said otherwise. If the outside world said you were a great musician, then you were, even if you weren't.

How many times have I heard someone talk about a terrific Canadian musician, only to follow it by a phrase like "He's as good as the New York guys", when he is better than many of them?

An old joke depicts two barrels, one filled with American lobsters, another with Canadian lobsters. A lid sits on the American barrel. No lid on the Canadian. Why? The Canadian lobsters do a fine job of pulling the others back down if they try to climb out, thank you very much, eh?

Self-abnegation has no unique status as a Canadian problem. Depreciated self-image demotes artists all over the world. But Canadians do excel in the practice. it is one area in which we show no self-doubt.

Change has begun, however. Canadian musicians, younger ones especially, have a better sense of their worth. The sheer number of compatriots who have achieved international recognition- Celine, Bryan Adams, Angela Hewitt, Michael Buble -shreds doubt about our talent and abilities. Our self-image has deepened and taken on tone, like fruit that has ripened.

So, goodbye Gene Lees. You've left behind a much-changed world. You helped make that change Thank you. Thank you from a fellow, ever more confident, Canadian musician.

The Pianobabbler has babbled.

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